i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
