You really coming over, don't trick.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
