i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
