Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
