I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
