wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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