So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
