the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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