Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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