Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize