then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Damn victory sex feels great
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
