Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
