the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize