in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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