I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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