she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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