thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
