we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
