It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
