i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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