I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
