Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
