Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
