I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
