I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
