hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
