Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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