no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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