At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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