Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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