I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
