Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
