I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
