Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
