Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
