just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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