Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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