The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
