I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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