I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
