I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
