so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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