It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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