just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
