garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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