How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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