I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
