Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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