Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
