I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
