you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
