Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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