got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize