She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I intend to get homeless drunk
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
