Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
