It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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